


She Was Tired

by ChokingOnYourAlibi



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-08 22:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6876670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokingOnYourAlibi/pseuds/ChokingOnYourAlibi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mircalla Karnstein<br/>-before-<br/>-during-<br/>-after-<br/>Carmilla Karnstein</p><p>My thoughts on what happens in between.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Was Tired

She Was Tired

-Before-  
  Mircalla Karnstein believed that she would never grow tired. After all, who could tire when the world bowed to the last breath that they would never stop taking? Adventure toyed with the tips of her fingers and the blush on her cheeks. She bathed the world in blood and figured she need not apologize. After all, who would grace the dead with an apology? The only dead that mattered were the ones who walked amongst the living.   
  It didn't matter if no one remembered the girl from 1698, because she was already gone. So, the girl with the unbeating heart and the eyes like fire destroyed the world and reveled in the darkness she brought forth.  
  She would never grow tired, because she would always have another adventure to go on and another body to drain.

-Before-  
  Marcilla Karnstein thought she would never be tired. After all, who could be tired when there was a sacrifice to aid in? Girls were play things and Marcilla had always been skilled at games. So, the girl who died in 1698 was a lure. She indulged in her assignments, because seduction was a game she would never get tired of winning.  
  It was easy.  
  She wouldn't apologize, because what was an apology when they had been stupid enough to be pawns?  
  It was easy, until it wasn't.

-Before-  
 Mircalla Karnstein recycled her real name because she would never get tired of the way it sounded in Her voice. She played the game so many times it had become something of second nature. So, the girl who died in 1698 remained quiet when She came around.  
  She wouldn't apologize, because apologies weren't something that applied when you were destroying something for the love of your life. She dragged Her to New York, and they had a happily ever after. They were the stuff of fairy tales.  
  If only it were that easy.   
  It would never be easy.

-During-  
  M. Karnstein is tired of being a monster. The blood is Hers, she can tell. So, the girl that died in 1698 is back, and so is her guilt. She doesn't swallow. She refuses to drink the blood of her love.  
  She apologizes, because She deserves an apology. She deserves far more than a simple apology, but an apology is the best M can manage.

-During-  
  M. Karnstein is tired of scratching at the wood. She still hasn't had the blood, although she knows she'll need it soon. Her skin itches but she can't find the energy to move.  
  She apologizes in advance for what she knows she'll have to do.

-During-  
  M. Karnstein is tired of being conscious. She drank the blood.  
  She cried, and she begged for forgiveness. The girl who died in 1698 was breaking and burning.  
  She apologizes through her tears.  
  It's not enough for her or for her surroundings.

-After-  
  Arcillma Karnstein is tired of playing happy. She lives in France and refuses to go to New York. New York was for Her and Her alone. The girl who died in 1698 is searching for penance.  
  She apologizes every night.  
  When she doesn't find what she's looking for, she throws herself away.

-After-  
  Armcilla Karnstien is tired of being found when she doesn't want to be. The girl who died in 1698 goes back to her "vampiric duty".  
  She apologizes to the constellations when Maman isn't around.

-After-  
  Carmilla Karnstein is tired of being naive. She did as she was told, making things mildly inconvenient when she wished to, and when she finally got the task done, she expected nothing in return.  
  She still apologizes to to stars. Laura catches her one night.  
  She lies about her death. It was at a ball, but her blood was on her own hands, because Mircalla Karnstein had been far too tired of living. She hadn't apologized.  
  So the girl who died in 1698 fell in love with a girl who live hundreds of years later, and for a while, no one was the wiser.  
  But of course, tomorrow has to go up in flames and yesterday has to fade to grey.

-After-  
  Carmilla Karnstein will never be tired of Laura Hollis and her adorable, dorky personality.  
  For once in her life, she doesn't need to apologize for an action.  
  Loving Laura requires no apologies.


End file.
